Summary by Goodreads:
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—”not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
“You are great. Already. Whether you realize it or not.”
My Thoughts:
I loved The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck! I don’t often read self-help books because I find them not at all helpful in my own opinion. They usually whine about their own lives in an attempt to make you feel better and try to force their own peppy personality upon your “Eeyore”-like personality, when in reality they don’t know what it’s like to sink so far into depression you nearly die, or what it’s like to not feel any motivation or happiness at all. But, I’ve come to find out, self-help books are like trying to find a therapist. When finding a therapist, you have to jump around until you find one that fits your needs the best, one you connect with. You have to go through several before you find one that makes an impact. Well, that’s this book for me. This book became my therapist.
Manson’s carefree humor immediately got me intrigued, his life experiences kept me reading, and the way he explained his views on life inspired me. He touches topics like the value of suffering, the importance of saying no, and how you are always choosing. He’s consistently trying to teach us how to stop caring about the unimportant things in our lives, the things that don’t bring us true happiness, the things we care too much about, and redirects our attention to accomplishing our goals, creating life experiences, failing, succeeding, and being able to enjoy the beauty in the simple things and the beauty in ourselves.
Sure, it sounds similar to every self-help book ever, but Manson’s approach is a much more relatable one. He is able to tell you the thought process that changed his life and then he teaches you how to implement it into your own, and he doesn’t over complicate it or use large words to sound intelligent. Amidst his life-changing stories, he also makes you laugh. He’s a relatable guy, and that itself makes you want to listen to him. Manson is your friend you go grab a beer with and then the two of you end up talking about deep life situations that actually matter.
A section of the book I want to touch on is Chapter 5: You Are Always Choosing. This chapter helps to remind you that you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to it. It’s a concept we all know, but Manson reminds us how we can re-take control of our lives. As the chapter goes on he begins to talk about the current struggles our society is facing…the big struggle…the struggle I constantly get frustrated over: How everyone is so offended by everything all of the time. He goes deep into why this is happening and also shows us how to fix it. After all, our future depends on it. Our country is just going to get more and more divided and our news is going to be full of “who offended who “rather than news we actually need to hear about. Manson tells us that “the future stability of our political systems may depend on” us as a society figuring out how to choose to not be offended and give “actual f*cks” about things that truly matter. Someone is most likely often going to unintentionally offend you (me even writing this section into a review might offend some people), or someone close to you might die, or you might lose your job…but how you respond to it, how you choose to respond to it, is what’s going to determine your own personal happiness.
I could go on with examples from the book that really helped to shape my future and teach me how to take control of my life, but I suggest you read it for yourself. Get lost in Manson’s humor while learning from his interesting views.
“…the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgment or lofty expectations. You will have a growing appreciation for life’s basic experiences: the pleasure of simple friendships, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a book, laughing with someone you care about.”
I recommend this book to…
…just about anybody. People who don’t like self-helps books, people who do like self-help books, someone looking for a quick read that lifts them up, someone looking to laugh and be inspired, someone who gets offended easily, someone who needs some motivation, someone who just got out of a breakup, someone struggling to accomplish their goals—anybody and everybody. I gave this book to my coworker who had recently been let go. He said it changed his mind set on everything. I let my boss borrow it, and he said it was one of the best books he’s read. But be warned if you give this book as a gift or to your child or to your sweet, innocent grandmother, there is an excessive amount of “F” words throughout the whole book, but in my opinion, that’s what gives it it’s charm, that’s what makes it relatable.
“If it feels like you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.”
Comfort Guide:
Heavy swearing throughout the entire book. Use of the “F” word at least once on almost every page if not more. Mentions of drugs, sex, and death—but none of it is graphic.
Info:
Author – Mark Manson
Published – 2016
Page Count – 204
Once again, Well written and very intelligent. I agree with his advice.
Thank you!