Summary by Goodreads:
If you’re tired of swiping through dating apps, ghosting, and hearing well-meaning questions about why you’re still single, it’s hard not to feel “less-than” because you haven’t found your soul mate.
Until now.
How to Be Single and Happy is an empowering, compassionate guide to stop overanalyzing romantic encounters, get over regrets or guilt about past relationships, and identify what you want and need in a partner. But this isn’t just another dating book. Drawing on her extensive expertise as a clinical psychologist, as well as the latest research, hundreds of patient interviews, and key principles in positive psychology, Dr. Jennifer Taitz challenges the most common myths about women and love (like the advice to play hard to get). And while she teaches how to skillfully date, she’ll also help you cultivate the mindset, values, and connections that ensure you’ll live your best, happiest life, whether single or coupled up.
“You may even find that focusing on finding love, rather than loving your life, closes you off from great opportunities, or leads you to settle for something that doesn’t feel right.”
My Thoughts:
My friends and family are probably relieved that I read this book because all they hear from me is, “Why am I single?” or, “This is why I’m single,” and, “Am I ever going to find the right guy?” Relatable? If this is you, read this book. If this is your daughter or son, give her/him this book. If this is your friend, tell her/him how beneficial this book can be in finding peace.
I am single and it gets me down more often than not, so I picked up How to Be Single and Happy in the hopes that it would teach me to be positive and to happily accept that I just haven’t found the right partner yet. Albeit it didn’t magically cure my single-girl-sadness, it did teach me scientific techniques to be mindful and happy with my day to day life. It opened my eyes to being secure with who I am, content with my life, and readying myself for when I do stumble upon the right person.
Jennifer L. Taitz is a clinical psychologist who gives people mental and behavioral tools and techniques to get out of their rut and become happy with their lives. She takes scientific facts and evidence-based therapies and combines it with her own life traumas. Taitz went through a breakup with a fiancé and remained single for a very long time before finally finding the right man. She got down on herself but learned ways to cope. Some of which are: finding the right social circle, surrounding yourself with positive friends, speaking aloud your emotions, avoiding ruminating, helping others, and practicing mindfulness.
I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like self-help books, but I loved this one. It didn’t have “pity me” stories from the author. It had situations the author went through and ways she managed to pick herself up. She also included a lot of examples from her patients, all of which were extremely relatable to my own relationship dramas. I also really enjoyed the scientific side of it, because science is free from emotion, it’s just the facts. She teaches us how to live in each moment, how to remember the things we’re grateful for, and how to love ourselves so fiercely that a partner would just be an added bonus.
If you’re struggling with being single, read this. If you’re struggling with finding the joy in your life, read this. If you’re struggling with having kids, read this. There’s a beautiful section in the book that talks about egg-freezing, adoption, fostering etc. You don’t have to have a partner right in this moment to one day have a family. You don’t even need a partner to have a family. Taitz walks you through every option you have concerning starting a family while also talking about how to be happy when you’re single.
I had many favorite parts of the book, but I enjoyed when Taitz asked us if we would be happy if we had a partner, if all of our problems would be solved if we had a partner. No, they wouldn’t be. Having a partner doesn’t guarantee your happiness. You need to take a step back and realize why it is you’re truly unhappy and fix that before you can worry about having a partner. Being in love isn’t a fix-all, it’s just another beautiful part of life. We all need to step back and enjoy the moments we’re given, the friends we have, and remember to be mindful of ourselves and our experiences.
“The belief that your happiness hinges on an external circumstance that you can’t control (i.e., meeting a romantic partner) not only makes it harder to find love, but it also sets you up for unhappiness.”
I recommend this book to…
…anyone going through a breakup. Anyone struggling with still being single. Anyone looking for a relationship. Old, young, teenager, middle-aged, boy, girl—this book is for you. Let it inspire you and teach you ways to appreciate your life and to appreciate the power you have. Let it teach you how to be single and happy.
“Every minute you get stuck in unhelpful thoughts and feelings is time you’re not spending experiencing the moments of your life as they happen right now.”
Comfort Guide:
No swearing, except for one use of “b*tch” used in a quote. One or two mentions of sex. Nothing explicit.
Info:
Author – Jennifer L. Taitz
Published – 2018
Page Count – 217
Ha great review
Thank you!
Ive been there and agree with everything she says!
Me too! It was a really good book.